so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
