It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
