we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
