What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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