He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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