Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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