Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
