Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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