Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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