put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
