At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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