she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
