I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
