Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Pants are for mortals
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
