And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
