last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
