I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He passed out mid-signature
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
