I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She's like a pop up book from hell.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
