people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
