I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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