Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
