But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
