You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
