She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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