never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
