i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
