he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
