Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
