She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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