They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
