Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
