While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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