At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
your like the ambassador to my penis.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
