Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
