idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
