You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
