i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
