Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
