Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
there is puke in my bra ... again
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