Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
