I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
