Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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