what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
