Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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