I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
