She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
