I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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