A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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