NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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