Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
