Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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