So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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