Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
