I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
