There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
