we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
